Wow. Today feels like a big hype day, a day where there are lots of capital letters. A New Moon and a Solar Eclipse offer a cosmic invitation for Big Releases and New Beginnings. It’s also International Women’s Day.
For me personally it’s also the Last Day of a wonderful 30 day challenge I have been taking part in (more to follow on that) and the First Session with a new coach. I’ve done some Big Releases and acquired some New Tools. It’s also the beginning of a New Chapter where I will be shortly moving to a new base and arranging my life and resources in a new way.
It all feels very much right this minute. I feel a pressure to come out shiny and glorious and embrace the massive newness and unlimited potential and epic joy of it all. To pull rabbits out of hats and scatter stardust all around.
It feels like. Way. Too. Much. Hype. I’ve been in with both feet for the build up, eager and excited for Big Shifts and Emergence. Waiting for the fanfare which heralds the grand event. Now I’m stopping – here at the threshold of pushing my dazzled self out onto a carnival float to dance the hula – and instead gathering myself up in loving arms to rest and to just be.
Yes I’m learning, yes I’m progressing, yes I’m growing, yes I’m healing. This is what our bodies and souls just do organically. We don’t need to be doing the doing, it is our nature. No need, really none, to press and push. It all happens, it all comes, it is all done.
These last weeks I’ve experienced huge shifts, internally and externally. Waves and voids and revelations. I haven’t made any of them happen, they have just been the content of my days, simply what happened.
Today I sit quietly and allow myself to be carried over the threshold. Stay in surrender. Allow the Dao.
I feel the slightly hysterical climactic energy of days like these in a similar way to the frenzy of Christmas. A layer of expectation is created which lays traps for the tenderness of souls. Paints a glittery gloss on the realness and rawness which is also present, which is always present where real growth and real healing is in play.
I celebrate too, I celebrate all the joy and the leaps and the new beginnings. For me the new beginning is this. It is being enough as I am, just right now. Not a carnival, not a dancing girl, not an empire being born. A butterfly, with soggy wings, exhausted from the struggle which formed it, from breaking through the cocoon of a former self, and wanting to get an early night with a hot water bottle.
It is knowing my expression is welcome.
It is knowing that I am here for me, and everyone benefits.
It is knowing that I am surrounded by love and support from all the divine beings in my life.
It is knowing that the entire physical universe exists to support me in physical form.
It is knowing that the more I let go, release and relax, the more I experience the support already provided for me.
This is what I am taking to bed tonight under the new moon.
“Practise not doing, and everything will fall into place” ~ Dao De Jing
I love you all, I share your joy, this quiet joy is mine today. The joy of self acceptance and feeling enough, at home in myself and safely held by life.